Up That Hill

It's kind of strange how things I intended to go quickly take a long time, and things I planned on being important end up being blazed right through. For example, I had expected "the party" to have a problem with me giving them 5 peasants to accompany them. At the very least they were going to cut into the profit margin...so I'd planned out a bit of interaction with the peasant bully boys and the party. But, they were cool with it.

So the party made their way across the plains. For flavor text (or was it?) a horseman appeared on a hilltop a couple miles away. The image I had in mind was of the American Plains along the Oregon trail, when suddenly a single Native American appears in the distance, watching the wagon train. Not moving to attack, but clearly not intimidated. Just...watching. It had the desired effect, forcing the party to halt and have a nice conversation about what to do. Even though "nothing happened" I think it was one of my more successful encounters for the group, and one of the earliest moments of them "getting into it." There was some genuine tension as they tried to figure out if this was a problem...but eventually decided there was nothing to be done and continued onwards. Yay!

I had 2 of the peasants run away the first chance they got...clearly their nerves weren't up to this. But I had came up with something more interesting for the remaining three (Tom, Dick, and Harry) so their nerves held. I pretended to roll dice (sorry Peredu, your awesome intimidate checks were window dressing) to mask this...but with 5 of them there's no way they were all going to pass a random selection by the dice. It's interesting how the dynamic of chance was already starting to interfere with my story...three botched rolls on my part (or three amazing ones on Peredu's) and the new plan I had in store for Tom, Dick, and Harry would have been out the window. But the odds prevailed and three peasants stayed (conveniently renamed Tom, Dick, and Harry...regardless of who rolled which). Again some interesting dynamics of the group started to emerge...Avyx was angry, demanding whose watch they'd slipped out on. Peredu was a little upset that after bonding with them (by yelling at them not to run) they'd betrayed him and ran off anyhow. Norge...well...Norge had decided they were useless anyhow, and good riddance to bad rubbish. Mairwen and Ember didn't say much in this exchange...I'm still trying to figure how to engage each person. What are they looking for? Is it their comfort level keeping them quiet? Do they feel this exchange isn't "tailored" for them? What are a warlock and rogue to say about peasants anyhow?

So remember when I said some things took way longer than expected? Well the party arrived at the hill where the bandits were said to be located. I described it, essentially, as a jumble of boulders inexplicably rising above the plain. Were I to enter science mode I'd probably say it was some sort of glacial kame, and that the plains likely were carved by some glaciation period in the past. I'd described it a little more like Iowa than Ohio...but I'm allowed to alter geomorphology...it's my world.

Anyhow, the hill. There's a copse of tree on the top, brush growing on the sides, and a small river a short ways away. I'd figured that there options were: wait for daylight (as I had them arrive at dusk), or go right up and planned accordingly. They managed somehow to both start and wait forever. They easily spotted the trail up the hill...but after falling into some brush and making a racket got spooked (oh those tricksy dice). And I could not convince them to go up the hill. Mairwen walked around the hill. Norge walked up to the base of the hill. They all walked around the hill. Peredu forced the peasants to walk up the back of the hill and back down. But dear lord were they reticent to go up the hill. Of course, had they simply gone up the trail they would have seen an entrance into the hill they'd missed before. But nothing is simple. (to the right: what a scary hill might look like)

Finally, peasants in front like a shield Peredu ventured up the hill. You know, I must disclose...I didn't get the feel that Peredu was doing the best roleplaying at this point (still our first night), but upon writing down the actions he was pretty active in everything. I've just got to get him more involved in some of the conversations. So finally...atop the hill. And into an abandoned necropolis. Shattered crypts and flecks of bone mark the location of an ancient burial ground...which was almost enough to send them right back down the hill. I'd had enough trouble getting them up the hill (note I didn't really want them on the hill...I wanted them halfway up the front...but they'd been avoiding that religiously since the first moment).

So they explored the hill. They poked the bones. The peasants threw small rocks down the hill. They stared back down the back of the hill. At this point I almost threw a *cough* look down the front *cough* but resisted. They perception checked, arcana checked, nature checked and religion checked all over the wazoo. I have to admit another failure...I wasn't quite as prepared as I should have been for some of their successes...but made enough up to sketch a bare bones reply (and pretend the difficulty was really high). In the future I'll 1) do more prep work (ugh, where will I find the time?) and 2) be more willing to make stuff up.

Finally they started to walk back down the hill...and someone looked down the front of the hill immediately seeing the entrance. At this point I broke "character" and expressed a little of the frustration I'd had "I just could not get you to walk up the front of that hill!" Subtext? "Get up that damn hill soldier!" There were some odd expressions, as the "duh...it was that simple" and "we didn't do that?" competed for space. On the one hand they learned something about what it's going to be like when they come across entirely unknown territory to the DM (and learn they're on the "wrong" track) and also how to make sure they've done everything they thought about doing. I, on the other hand, learned they're not going to do things the way I deem simple, and there is no "wrong" track, I just need to learn how to take that wrong track, and lay track desperately in front of the oncoming train...and hopefully smash my predicted path into the way.

The funny thing is, this was a very informative time...don't write stories so a bad roll will halt the party (a failed stealth check made them afraid of the hill), learn how to conceal directed story with the appearance of infinite choice, and the first inklings of roleplaying in my party. We'd probably spent an hour to this point and not had a single real encounter. The story so far?

Met. Got job to take out bandits. Walked to hill (saw scary horse guy, lost 2 peasants). Walked up hill. Saw cave. Decided to enter. Pretty basic stuff, yet somehow we'd spent over an hour getting there exploring nuances of the story and my mind (at this point...pretty empty and simple). Next entry...they'll enter the hill. And see what awaits them under the cemetery.

The Adventure Begins...

I've decided, the hell with it. I'm going to regale you with tales of the table top. It'll probably be a mixture of 3rd person narrative, and first person memory recall. I'll mix and match as appropriate. You'll just have to deal with it. As before, the names have been changed to protect the nerdy. I'll just call them by their character names. I tried to be brief...but the result was a "tl:dnr"* worthy post. Ugh, why am I in a field that encourages my tendency to go on and on and on...

We gathered in the house of one of our compatriots, and basically nervously made small talk...it was a heady experience. I was pretty nervous, once begun I can never take it back...I'll forever be marked as having played D&D. I'd spent a good amount of time whipping up a campaign, creating a small portion of a world for my players to inhabit, and was nervous about 1) my ability to entertain 2) remembering more than half the rules and 3) just being the focus of peoples attention...as much as I love telling a good story, when it's expected of me to do something, present/tell a story/whatever my nerves kick in and I freak the fuck out. I know, it's amazing that something could make me nervous about talking and telling a story...but it happens.

But eventually, we began. I explained the town they found themselves in. A little village...or town...it lies somewhere in between, resting in the crook of an oxbow river, called Portage. It rests at the edge of 'civilization' (as far as the inhabitants of this region are concerned) at the edge of a barren plain. It exists solely because of a low point in a river requiring merchant barges to unload and reload downstream of the rocks. The keep and walls are falling apart, remnants of a fortification predating the current occupation. The current residents are essentially squatters, most employed to haul goods, and a few work on the scattered farms on the same side of the river as the town.

I instructed my player that their reasons for being attracted to this town were their own (no one had given me their backstories...so I didn't know either actually) but they were probably disappointed...instead of a bustling, rough and tumble "frontier town" they find a slowly collapsing, boring, empty, filthy village. Think "Dayton, OH." (I was in a bad mood when I conceived the town, and took out my frustration on Dayton, every problem I have with it, every stereotype and shortcoming, I lumped into poor Portage. Why? Because fuck Dayton, that's why.)

They each found a notice calling for any adventurers passing through town nailed to a sign post at one of the two intersections in town, and they made their way to the inn, looking for a contract (and money). I described the inn, the innkeeper, and had them ushered into a meeting room filled with the respondents.

Background given I made a n00b mistake, I said "okay...go."

No one spoke. *crickets* Awkward. Familiar flushing on my neck. It's 5th grade all over again.

I can only assume that lack of familiarity with "how to play," nerves about being "that guy" (you know the one who affects a British accent of sorts, puts on pointy ears, and is just a little too into it), and not really knowing "what to do," all contributed. Anyhow, after enduring the silence, and having my own freakout, I tried to poke and prod responses with little in the way of a result. Avyx half-heartedly started to explain what she was up to, but nervously trailed away to nothingness.

"Enough!" I thought, "I'll cram more exposition down their throats!"

At this point, however, I was just as nervous. How can I weave an engrossing story (because just shoving them into dungeons isn't fun), without crossing the same line. So I kind of brought in the town mayor, gave them a contract, and shoved them out the door "in passing" as my narrative style. All third person, no direct dialogue "he tells you to go in this direction" "he says he doesn't know that" etc. etc. I snuck in a little flavor, but probably could have balanced it a bit better. Oh well, it's a learning experience for all. At this point it was a symbiotic relationship of suck...I sucked at telling the story, they weren't responding, further decreasing my ability to tell the story.

In short...attempts to expand their farmland across the river results in farmsteads being burned by bandits. Attempts to guard it prove ineffective as shortly after the guards return to town the bandits return and once more set the buildings to the torch. There are pirates plaguing the river south of Portage, and things are just terrible. Won't you please take care of it Mr. and Miss powerful action heroes? If we could just get one or two things to go our way this town will improve, pinky swear. They were granted a contract for 10 gold per bandit ear (the bandits conveniently wore distinctive earrings to mark their identity according to eyewitness reports). They were given the location of the hideout, and with that (and a few disparaging remarks) the mayor left.

The group got a little into it during the conversation, trying starting to feel out the ins and outs of what they should be doing. At one point Norge, our only experiened player, did decide to magnanimously buy ale for all, and the group indicated that general drinking related entertainment was occurring in game. Peredu, the zealous paladin, decided he was having none of that and took his character upstairs to sleep (yay! he roleplayed!)

I'd had it set up so that the room was filled with local flavor, peasants and dock workers who thought they were "up to snuff" with the intention of forcing my characters to try to drive them off (persuade them to go away, or whatever). Instead they passively accepted that they had a bunch of cannon fodder with them now (what BASTARDS! they're supposed to be anthropologists, all emotional, and caring about the plight of the poor and stuff! Not cold bloodedly decide that they can shove them in front of their trek to search for traps** with their feet like an African warlord.) I kept my cool, and didn't berate them too much...after all, it was no time to tell them they're losing the game already as well as being terrible anthropologists. So with no introductions to each other, familiarization with complimentary skills (or really knowledge of each others classes and abilities aside from moments of joint character creation) they set out...with 5 peasants in tow. Peter, Paul, Tom, Dick, and Harry I named them. In no way are they disposable characters, why would you suggest that after my amazing naming scheme was revealed?

I was worried about playing a character and DMing. How am I supposed to let John bon Jonne speak without giving away too much, avoid the temptation of forcing narrative and exposition through him, and keep another (more complicated) set of stats straight during combat? So I conveniently had him take a minor contract to explore in another direction, down the river, with a contingent of guardsmen, and removed him from the table.

So there you have it. A poorly acquainted group is setting off across the plains, there's a stone hill 2 days march to the northeast, filled with bandits, and they've got 5 hungry, scared, poorly trained and armed peasants around them. They can see nothing but undulating beige grassland in all directions. It's like Kansas...with swords instead of power rock...err, wheat.

Now that I've crammed exposition down your throats I can begin the telling of the tale, "untitled and the untitled untitled," pretty catchy, huh?


The Cast to date:
Avyx, tiefling (half-demon) warlord (f)
Ember, halfling warlock (f)
John bon Jonne, human, wizard (m) absent
Mairwen, half-elf rouge (f)
Norge, dwarf cleric (m)
Peredu, human paladin (m)

Supporting Cast:
Peter, Paul, Tom, Dick, Harry, human, dirty peasants
Belkin, dwarf, innkeep (m). Massively fat, runs his inn from a wheeling chair (not a wheelchair I might remind you). Warm, open, and nice...even by human standards (so borderline psychotic by Dwarf standards)
Hjeldin Barkavaad, human, reeve or mayor (m). Old, pouchy, incompetent. Running a fail-town not as a reward, but to keep him out of the way of the real bureaucracy.


____________________
*too long: did not read
**This actually was said!

Daring Deeds and Dashing D...heroes...

So, about a month ago some of my fellow anthro people (who shall remain nameless, to protect the innocent...or something) and I took our steps into a dark and treacherous place. You see, I'm a nerd. I'm not ashamed of that, and in fact I've grown to embrace it as time goes on. Let's face it...my entire scholastic/professional track is based on this nerd-ish tendency. I love Star Wars, have read LOTR multiple times, I play computer games, and can speak lolcat.

However, one thing I have never done is play Dungeons and Dragons. There's no particular reason for it, I wasn't really exposed to people who played it regularly, and those I did encounter were the "scary" D&Ders... I'm not one to profile people, so I'll just leave that there (and no, that's not me or any of my nameless companions to the left).

But I'm an adult now (hah), and my friends are all adults, and I can trust them to be responsible and mature (hah). Anyhow, I felt it was a safe environment, we'll leave it at that.

So I mentioned that it really was a sort of affront to my nerddom that I had never played D&D. I know most of the jokes, I understand the hilarity of casting magic missile at the darkness, and I know the difference between an epic fail and an epic flail. But, much to my shame, I've never rolled a D4 hoping against hope to drop an area attack and send kobolds and goblins fleeing my arcane powers.

Hi. My name is Marcus...and I...I'm a nerd poser.

Anyhow, at my admission, several others came clean, who despite their seemingly impressive nerd credentials were also unfamiliar with rolling polyhedrons. So, together, we decided to take the plunge.

Books were read, dice bought, and at least two pewter figurines were painted.

We've assembled quite the motley crew...our half-demon warlord Avyx, our half elf rogue (who does an incredible impression of a tree) Mairwen, the highly flammable halfling warlock Ember, Clanky and Cranky...our human paladin and dwarf cleric (Peredu and Norge), and the sometimes conscious wizard Jon bon Jonne. The role of DM (at least for the time being) has been filled by yours truly. Not because I'm any good at the game, or have any deep understanding of the mechanics...I don't. But because I volunteered, and figured it would be the best way to learn, since I'd have to. Yeah, that's right...I'm playing D&D trying to learn stuff. It's kind of weird.

Anyhow, faced with the concept of learning a new game, and how to run it what was I to do. I read what I could of the Players Handbook and the Dungeon Master book...but despite my experience learning things from books those weren't the most helpful. I've had to go a little further afield. I dredged deep into my nerd bones and found:

The folks at Penny-Arcade and PVP Dungeon Crawl podcast
and
Critical Hit podcast
(just go to itunes to subscribe to either of them, or muddle around on the internet to figure out how to do it that way...I'm not entirely sure)

So armed with listening in on how campaigns are run, a rough idea of how the rules worked, I cobbled together an adventure, with the story...well, not quite improvised as I went along, but definitely "in flux" as the weeks advanced. We just finished the first "adventure" (or whatever you want to call it) and despite some rough patches went pretty well I think. Took 3 nights to make it through, but I'd say...success? Maybe I'll issue a play-by-play...cuz again...I'm a nerd (and so are you).